Toxic positivity, or what some consultants call “playing pretend” in the workplace, isn’t new, but it can be detrimental as employers strive to improve workplace wellness and culture.
“Toxic positivity at work is really just pretending,” says Erin Patchell, owner of consultancy firm The Positivist Group. “You know that meme of the dog sitting at the table with fire around him and saying, ‘Everything is fine, everything is fine’ and everyone is saying, ‘It’s not, though!’
“That’s toxic positivity.”
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While it can be difficult to define, toxic positivity is often seen as an overly optimistic approach that dismisses negative feedback or expressions in the workplace. The result is a lack of communication, increased frustration and a sense of disconnect at work.
The key to what makes positivity “toxic” is the dismissal or invalidation of negative sentiments or feedback, workplace consultants say.
Lydia Di Francesco, a workplace wellness specialist and CEO of Fit + Healthy 365, says many employees don’t even realize they’re doing it.
“Toxic positivity is still a rather unknown phrase, people often experience it or do it themselves without having a name to it,” explains Di Francesco. “Personally, for me, I do like to look for the positives.
“However, where the toxic side comes in is when you don’t allow space to acknowledge that something bad happened or something is hard and how you feel about it.”
There are a few ways that toxic positivity can present itself in the workplace, but it often occurs when employees are struggling, either mentally or physically, and feel unable to express their experiences.
In many situations, toxic positivity sounds like a cliche. Phrases like “look on the bright side,” “everything happens for a reason,” “look at the silver lining” and “it could be worse” are common, but the key is that they dismiss rather than acknowledge, Di Francesco says.
“Sometimes, really bad things happen and there’s really no silver lining. It’s more genuine and honest to admit that,” says Di Francesco. “It doesn’t necessarily mean you dwell on the negative, but it does mean it’s acknowledged.
“It can have a negative effect on employees who may feel mental and emotional exhaustion from having to put on a happy face,” she continues. “Whether someone is struggling in their personal life or dealing with a hard work environment, not allowing space for someone to be their true self takes a toll, both mentally and physically.”
Toxic positivity can damage relationships in the office but it can also threaten positive change and growth in a workplace that refuses to accept feedback or criticism, Patchell explains.
“If someone has an objection to a process or approach, it would be toxic to say, ‘You don’t have the right mindset’ or ‘You need to focus on the positive,’” says Patchell. “What you’re really saying is, ‘Don’t voice your concerns.’
“Instead, it needs to be about expecting feedback, acknowledging it and asking, ‘How do we go about achieving it?’” she continues. “Not dismissing it, but building a plan about it.”
Often, a leader’s response to receiving negative feedback or criticism can reveal a blind spot in the organization, Patchell says, that should be looked at critically.
“I see (toxic positivity) the most in situations where leaders have a set mindset and constructive feedback feels like a personal affront and they’ll tend towards something more toxic if they aren’t able to process or accept that,” explains Patchell. “But if they have an agile mindset, they want feedback so they can see the gaps.”
In an evolving workplace and competitive labour market, Patchell says it’s vital for employee retention to ensure team members feel heard.
“People are leaving anyway and they’re leaving more if there’s a sense that positive change isn’t happening,” she explains. “If someone gives feedback and we see it as an affront and tell them they need to look at the bright side, that’s not leadership. You need to show the way and demonstrate the mindset through our actions rather than telling.
“I’m a millennial raising three gen Zers and not a single one would be comfortable working for an employer who isn’t going to take the time to acknowledge the way they see the world.”
Toxic positivity isn’t new, but as people become familiar with the term in many aspects of life, Di Francesco says now’s the time to make a change.
Toxic positivity works in opposition to workplace wellness initiatives by limiting transparency and trust in an organization, explains Di Francesco. It also contributes to a larger ongoing mental health and illness stigma.
“I’m always encouraging open and honest conversation; toxic positivity is essentially the opposite and doesn’t support workplace wellbeing efforts. What leaders should do is encourage employees to talk openly about their emotions — the whole range of them,” she says.
“Mental health stigma still exists because people are afraid to share that things aren’t well,” she adds. “Reducing that stigma requires more sharing, which of course requires a safe space to do so.”
