The new year is here and with it the annual urge to transform into your best self.
But Ottawa health behaviour coach Katie Faloon-Drew says goal-setters – especially those who are also busy professionals – need to pump the brakes if they want to make long-term changes.
“Most are approaching new year’s resolutions in completely unrealistic ways,” she told OBJ Thursday.
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Whether it’s improving physical or mental health or pursuing a work promotion, Faloon-Drew said new year’s resolutions tend to be too ambitious and often wear off quickly.
“We jump in with these big goals and we haven’t taken the time to create those small systems (to support them),” she said. “I often see, ‘My big goal for 2025 is to get that promotion or launch that business,’ and that is really overwhelming. It actually stops a lot of entrepreneurs. It’s like the goal is the mountain and we look at it and we get overwhelmed really fast.”
In addition to setting big goals without breaking them down, Faloon-Drew said some people try to do too many things at once.
It’s why she encourages clients to follow the SMART model, a set of parameters that help to ensure goals are “specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timely.” It’s a model that she said encourages accountability and takes other life factors into account.
If goals are too vague or if there are too many of them, Faloon-Drew said they can quickly become a source of frustration.
“It’s like zero to 100,” she said. “It’s all out of shame and shame does not motivate; it actually demotivates. And everybody’s going all or nothing. They’re like, ‘I did nothing over the holidays and now I’m going back to the gym, five days a week.’ They’re piling on too many things and that’s a recipe for failure.”
The new year’s energy, she added, is quick to fade as life catches up.
“Inevitably, that initial motivation changes and they drop off,” she said. “The problem is, they never built it to be sustainable, especially for busy professionals. They’re not building these new habits from a place of reality. What happens when work goes crazy? What happens when my kid gets sick?”
At the same time, 2025 may be the year many workers return to the office. With more time commuting and less time for personal goals, Faloon-Drew said it’s more important than ever to pick one or two easygoing goals to start off. Once those have been successfully integrated, it’s easier to build on them.
It’s a method that she said works for those looking to find a better work-life balance.
“Think about how you want to feel every day,” she said. “It’s really helpful for busy professionals and entrepreneurs because we go, go, go. We’re type A. We’re really good at what we’re doing and sometimes we don’t know when to get off the treadmill.”
She added, “My biggest tip for building new habits is the same tip for when you’re trying to scale back. On a great day, how do you want to feel? Pick those words and stick them on your computer, on your mirror. It becomes the lens through which you assess your mindset, your thoughts, your habits, and so you’re able to make a healthier decision.”
Top goal-setting tips
1. Ditch the shame-based goals
“Really get clear on how you want to feel every day. Switching to ‘how do I want to feel’ will help you be able to create some systems and habits that are going to make you feel better. For example, if I want to feel energetic. Maybe the weight loss goal is overwhelming me. Maybe I’m going to switch because I want to feel energetic every day and therefore I can go for a walk instead. It’s a little bit more realistic.”
2. Start small
“Start with two maximum. Starting small with SMART goals, something that you know you can do when you’re starting to change those neural pathways, you need that. What’s that quick fix where I feel like I’m proud, I did that. It has to be attainable, it has to be specific. It has to be measurable. Stick with one or two and once you start getting that pride, because you’re doing, say, three walks a week, you can build from there.”
3. Dial in your systems
“It’s all about systems. How can you make a healthy choice as easy as possible? Schedule it. Hire a coach like me, someone who’s going to keep you to task … grab a friend, do something with a friend. Join an actual class where it starts at a certain time. When you know you’ve paid for it, you’re going to show up. Set an alarm on your phone. Actually put it in your face, because at the moment, you’re not going to want to do it. Our brains are wired to keep us comfortable. Pack a healthy lunch because if we leave it, we’re probably going to buy something. It’s really dialling in and setting up healthy triggers.”
4. Reframe habits around mental health first
“Too often we’ve equated exercise, nutrition, all of these things with image and shame. Once you start looking at healthy habits like sleep and nutrition as helping your mental health, reducing your overwhelm, managing your stress, every single little thing counts. Then you don’t have the all-or-none. Then you can build slowly.”
